Marriage IV – Going to a New Home

On the daythe woman is escorted to her new home, her father invites her maternalgrandfather (tama) and some of hisbrothers to accompany them. The man’s father brings some special soup (atœb) and raffia wine to his in-laws. Onthe evening of the appointed day, they all assemble in the hall (tsaa) and sit round an evening fire. Alarge pot is set over the fire and the wine is poured into it. The father sendsfor the daughter, who is at her mother’s house. She is made to stand between herfather and her tama.

The weddingrituals commence thus: the woman is anointed with bü (a local balm) by both of them, then she is made to drink fromher father’s cup; the ceremony concludes with a libation prayer and the bride (müngœng) is then escorted to thebridegroom’s house at night by a loud procession of her maternal and paternalrelatives.

Theprocession normally carries two sets of lighted raffia torches (nka’a); the people crack jokes as they movealong in the bridal train. A representative of the bride’s maternal grandfathercarries one of the torches at the tail end of the procession, while thatof the bride’s father takes the lead. The bride is hidden in the middle of theprocession as they move forward: she usually carries a bag containing anancestral cup or a drinking horn. This bag is often returned to her parents withgifts inside. The torch light indicates virginity and fertility and, above all,the official transfer of the woman to her husband’s family.

Before theyarrive the would-be husband’s compound, the girl’s procession stops on the waythree times, expecting to receive gifts and cajoling before they move on. Eachtime they stop, they are given packets of salt (füngwang fazangø) prepared by the bridegroom’s family. While in thehouse, the bride is hidden off and payments, especially of salt, have to be madeby those wishing to see her. The woman’s relations escorting her are providedwith food and drink as they sing and dance till dawn.

In themorning, salt and a special soup (ambaga)are shared by the members of the woman’s family. They now bathe the bride andanoint her with palm oil; the groom’s feet are also anointed. Only elderlywomen who have had children are allowed to bathe her. The youngest wife in thewoman’s family is the first to pour water over her, after which she is made tosit by her husband on a wooden stool in the yard.

Later inthe afternoon, the women start singing marriage songs (ngwa). Consummation of the marriage is normally preceded by aritual in which the groom roasts a fowl (ngubalebø) for the members of his peer group who have married before him. Thisritual is meant to welcome the couple into marriage by initiating them intotheir sexual life, which commences with the consummation of the marriage thatsame night. Sometimes elderly women tutor and assist the new couple in the artof lovemaking.